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DISCLAIMER

Welcome to FickTishes Insurance — where the coverage is imaginary and the creatures are questionably real.

 

FickTishes Insurance is a fictional, parody-based website created for entertainment purposes only. The insurance products, policies, coverage plans, agents, claims processes, and protections described on this site are entirely fake and do not constitute real insurance coverage of any kind.

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We are not a licensed insurance provider. No policy purchased, downloaded, printed, imagined, or whispered under a full moon through this website provides any actual financial protection, legal coverage, risk mitigation, supernatural shielding, zombie repellent, vampire bite reimbursement, alien abduction compensation, or mystical creature liability protection.

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Any purchase made on this site is for novelty and entertainment purposes only. By engaging with this website, you acknowledge that:​

  • No real insurance contract is formed

  • No legal coverage is provided

  • No claims will be processed (even during an apocalypse)

  • No refunds will be issued for paranormal dissatisfaction

  • You assume all risk associated with real-life encounters involving zombies, aliens, vampires, mermaids, dragons, shapeshifters, or other mystical beings

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FickTishes Insurance shall not be held liable for any real-world damages, injuries, losses, hauntings, possessions, infestations, invasions, transformations, or intergalactic misunderstandings.

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If you are seeking actual insurance coverage, please contact a licensed insurance provider in your jurisdiction.

Otherwise, stay enchanted, stay insured (emotionally), and enjoy the fun.

THIS IS NOT REAL INSURANCE.

“Claims” must be made in this universe. Specifically, the universe in which the creatures and phenomena we

claim to “cover” do not exist. If by some miracle something ridiculous does happen … whelp, sorry, but you

won’t get reimbursed. Look, I’m just a guy on the Internet. If you thought this was a real insurance company,

you’ve got to be a little more careful about what you believe. Seriously, you’re the one that felt they needed

insurance for werewolves or zombies or whatever.

 

I’m concerned you’d even think this was remotely real. I can’t really pay your medical bills if a vampire lays

eggs in your chest or if an old god of lore summoned by a cult accidentally crushes your house. But if it does

happen (which it won’t, because it can’t), I promise to get awfully torn up about it. Pinky-swear. So, to be clear,

you’re just getting a silly joke to show at parties or to give as a gift. And it’ll be hilarious. Show it off at

Halloween to “ward off” certain trick or treaters. Give it away at a white elephant gift exchange. Give it to a

niece or nephew you don’t really know what to get, but think might like wizards and goblin stories or

whatever.

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It’s fun. It’s fake. It’s FictTishes Insurance.

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