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FAQ
Is this real insurance?
No. But neither are the threats we claim to cover.
What do I get with my purchase?
You’ll receive a certificate in the mail along with a custom “insurance card.” All that and a heaping helping of peace of mind.
What if something turns out to be real?
They won’t.
But what if they are?
They're not.
But WHAT IF they are?
Then the world’s in more trouble than a fake insurance company on the Internet can help you with.
If I get turned into a zombie, am I covered?
Technically no, but … sure why not. If you turn into a zombie, you’ll get a million brains delivered to your last known address. (Not guaranteed to be human brains. May include mosquito brains or some other such loopholes.)
Does my FickTishes coverage expire?
Never. You’re getting a lifetime of fake coverage. We’ll even fake cover you after you die. Why not?!
Can I purchase it for a friend?
Absolutely! FickTishes makes a perfect gift for friends and family. They’ll laugh and pull it out of their wallet to show
others at parties.
Can I purchase it for an enemy?
I guess so. We’re not your parents.
Can I purchase multiple cards in bulk?
Depends on your request. Special orders may require more time and pricing. Contact us, and we’ll see what we can do.